My best friend started dating a guy who already had a son-which was fine with her. A few months into the relationship, she got pregnant. It's been over a year now and they are still together.
Here is the problem. Her boyfriend's son (10 yrs old) has behavior problems-due to a difficult past. Neither my friend nor her boyfriend (which is his dad) know how to handle the problems in a way that is positive for him. He is treated like he is unwanted and is often belittled to a point that I would say is emotional abuse. I am at a point where I have no desire to talk to my friend or visit her because it upsets me so bad to see the way he is treated. I see so much potential for this child that is being destroyed due to his home life.
My question is, what can I do? If I tell her how I feel, I know she will feel that I am wrong and not listen-I am also worried that she will take it out on her boyfriend's son. (not physically).
Please someone help me with advice!How to handle a friend/bad parent?
Well there are a lot of factors here. If you feel there is real abuse then you report it to CPS: http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/childabus鈥?/a> You can try to talk with her first, but what do you think that would solve? People are pretty set in the ways on raising his or her child. You can try talking with her and letting her know you do not feel it is right. Ask if they just need a break and you would take him for a week or so. Then you can help him on things and see how he likes staying with you. You might be the Aunt who takes care of him a lot. There are a ton of people who should not have kids which do, and they make more and more of them. Hope something in here sounds decent to do.How to handle a friend/bad parent?
There is no advice to give outside of trying to reason with her and perhaps, if you can do it calmly enough and without blaming her, open her eyes to what is happening there. If she doesn't listen to you, her friend, rather than watch that boy be eaten alive by her and his father, I'd call CPS and get their take on this. It's called tough love for both of you but it may save his life and his sanity. Will you stand by and watch a child be destroyed because of your fear?
I went through the same thing. Never had any help. I had to learn the hard way, through trial and error. But I also knew right from wrong. And that's what has kept me on the straight and narrow.
The fear of prison time, what happens in prison, helped my imagination out.
I think you should bring it to her attention. Maybe they don't realize what they are doing. In kind of the way that a girl won't realize that her boyfriend is cheating on her till her friends tell her. It's better you than the CPS. If she's a true friend, she'll take it as constructive criticism, and not as a personal attack.
She`s your friend and you should know of the out come that is going to take place, meaning that you know her long enough to know what she is going to do?
I say talk to her any way about the child. Tell her be easy on him because his young and has been through a lot (abuse thing you mentioned earlier) ';come together as one,'; just talk and try help.
Well here is the thing if you see all that potential in him tell him. He proably needs to hear it more than you can possilby imagne!
As for your friend yes say something to her or buy her some guidance books on emotional abuse or give her a list of parenting classes to participate in and be prepared for the friendship to end.
But I would certainly do something for the kid.
i think u should talk to her
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